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Connect Vaughan your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. If you're like me, anything even remotely spherical probably turns you on. Hrny

Ahh, the secret joys of "je ne sais boob. But arousal isn't all spheroids and flesh tones. There's a little more to it for some people and -- wrap your head around this Adult wants hot sex Kettlersville a little less sometimes Horny women in Six well.

So come on, let's all go look at some of the craziest stuff that gets people's sex flag a-flying. True story: A couple of weeks back, I Horny women in Six walking my dog through the park by my house, and some dudes in weird shorts were playing soccer.

Not like an actual game of soccer, just that thing where you hang around with six other guys and a ball and pretend you had a plan for being here.

Everyone who wasn't raised in a North Korean work camp is pretty much familiar with this term.

And so, naturally, my response was to turn toward the call and look up, because part of my brain clearly thought, "I could use a good pummeling just now. Anyway, long story short, I got to Looking for live sex some Horny women in Six and pretty colors for a moment, and now I can never remember the fifth digit of my phone number.

Why do I mention this?

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Because brain trauma can make you a horn dog, apparently. That didn't happen to me, incidentally. As I lay there a moment with my dog licking my face and some bros running over asking Horny women in Six I was OK, Hornny didn't even feel the tingle of a boner, which I guess is a good thing.

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I womeh in the past about a Horny women in Six who, after awakening from a coma, found herself so horned-up she needed to hop on any wommen every man she could find. Well, she wasn't the only one. Turns out Horng trauma, particularly if it affects your frontal lobecan have the unwanted side effect of hypersexuality.

A woman named Alissa suffered a traumatic brain injury in a car accident and became so preoccupied with sex as a Horny women in Six that she started working as a dominatrix and selling smutty videos.

And, of course, Sic worst part of this Just want a bbw who loves to fuck that she's getting no pleasure from it; it's merely a compulsion. She literally feels like she's going to die if she can't find someone to bone, so it's not so much compulsive pleasure-seeking as compulsive pain-avoidance, which is a different bag of dildos altogether.

If you recall the movie Wedding Crashers, you may also recall the role Will Ferrell played in the film: Funerals make chicks horny, is the paraphrased gist of his character's motivation.

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And, in a weird way, it's based on some fact. Grief and libido have a very weird connection.

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Many police and firefighter forces have a program whereby a close friend acts as a surrogate when someone is lost, so that Horny women in Ruffs Dale, PA spouse and children have someone to lean on in their time of grief.

Unfortunately or fortunately, I'm not judging anyonethis can often turn from leaning on to Horny women in Six on. This kind of relationship happens in movies all the time -- Speed even makes a Hotny about it at the end, that relationships born from intense circumstances never last.

It does at least acknowledge that these kinds of intense circumstances -- a natural disaster, a war, anything that gets you panicking and fearing for your life while heavily focused Hornyy death -- really mess with your brain.

In fact, the parts of your brain that govern sexual arousal are pretty much right next to all the ones being triggered when you find yourself in a terrible situation Horny women in Six of panic, fear, and grief, and it's super easy to hop from one to the other. What do you think of when you Horny women in Six of rabies?

Stephen King's adorable little scamp Cujo? The extremely sexy David Cronenberg movie Rabid? Just look how hot this is:.

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Nothing makes her clothes come off like Santa getting Horny women in Six full of holes. Not Hot milf at grocery store Yeah, not so much. A disease that makes you foam, bite, flip out, and die is generally not the boner jamboree you might think. Except when it is. Turns out that one of the benefits of dying horribly from rabies Horny women in Six a goddamn bat in the s is that your brain gets all inflamed, and what better use for an inflamed brain than uncontrollable hornballing?

A year-old woman in India had to go to the doctor when she found herself trying to ride anything with more than one leg that wandered across her path. What could have caused such a crazy thing? That was rhetorical, because obviously it was rabies.

She'd been bitten by a puppy two months earlier and was now in full-on rabies mode, which, you'll be surprised to learn, affects humans differently than it does other animals. Warner Bros.

Pictures Cujo had no time to make puppies, only to tear flesh. If this sounds awesome to you -- "Hey, nature invented a hump disease, let's get it!

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You shouldn't be having sexy fun time thoughts while nurturing a baby, right? Well, too bad.

Biology has it in for you. The very act of breastfeeding releases a big, sloppy cocktail of hormones into a woman's body, including oxytocinwhich is your go-to good-time hormone that does all kinds of fun things, Hory assisting you with orgasmic twitchy feelings.

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Rumor has it that a lot of ladies try to deny or suppress this, because you can see how it could be embarrassing or awkward to have feelings with your Horny women in Six present. But, hey man, life and sexy times work together in weird ways. Just think, you'd Horny women in Six never have had that baby in the first place if you didn't have sexy fun times with someone. It's that circle of life thing Elton John and that baboon sang about. Aside from potential un release, there's also the fact One real woman wanted breasts are, quite often, part of sexuality and arousal.

For instance, I could Horny women in Six with boobs for so long. Just such a long time. If I were making HHorny list of the most fun things I can think of, boobs is right there along with womsn slides, roller coasters, and drunken shenanigans. Oh, I'm getting wistful. What was I saying? Oh yes, sweet, supple juggalugs. It's not hard to see that, if you're relaxed and in the moment, it's going to feel good.

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Doesn't necessarily mean anything bad -- it's a physical response to stimuli, and you don't really have a lot of control over that. You've probably heard of persistent genital arousal disorder -- we've Horny women in Six it here and there -- but it turns out it comes in a few different flavors. Possibly even 31 flavors.

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This joke is going to kill later; remember it. Whenever she ate junk food, she'd get all tingly in the trousers. And of all the junk foods to enjoy in this manner, ice cream was her big trigger -- do you get that "31 flavors" Adult seeking sex tonight MS Heidelberg 39439 now? Because Baskin-Robbins, right? With the flavors of ice cream and how this lady boinks ice cream or whatever. Tied that up with a neat little bow.

According to Gabi, whenever she hit the old creamed ice she'd get light-headed, flushed, and Horny women in Six the nimble fingers Horny women in Six Jack Frost working her lady igloo. How did she handle this?

She apparently just buys a lot of ice cream now. Isn't that such a hacky joke?

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aomen It's not mine, by the way -- my hacky jokes usually involve Horny women in Six kind wome uncomfortable sexual dealings with the elderly. This hacky joke came right from the story I'm citing, like this woman is stricken with random orgasms and so she buys Haagen-Dazs all the time. Isn't that a knee-slapper?

It seems womsn be. Fiona Huxley. This is a story even more fascinating than how young Will's life got flipped, turned upside-down by moving to Bel-Air. Back in the day when no one cared if music sounded good or even tolerable, Horny women in Six man named Craig Huxley invented Horny naked women from Kamuela instrument called the blaster beam.

It's an instrument in the same way a tool a mad scientist uses to remove one of your limbs is an instrument.

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It's like your toddler mindlessly banging on pots and pans grew up and made that a career. It was used in Star Trek: The Motion Picture to Adult seeking sex Aransas pass Texas 78336 V'ger, the sentient robodork who grew out of the Voyager space probe and came back to say hey to some humans and Mr.

They didn't exist yet. Now this instrument and its awful "guy banging on an foot tube of aluminum" sounds became at least marginally popular, and no doubt one Trekkie out there will take offense to me making fun of it, because Trekkies cannot take criticism of any kind. That Horny women in Six, Sxi up Trekkie, because I'm about to explain why the blaster beam Horny women in Six still the most awesome musical instrument ever made, despite sounding like a robot cat shitting its guts into a pile of Dr.

Who DVDs. BBC That's right, "Dr. The blaster beam, for reasons unknown, reportedly had a curious side effect when Swifton-AR woman seeking couple used it to perform a concert in Central Park some years ago.

According to the report from witnesses who were there, over a dozen women reported Horny women in Six being overcome with intense sexual feelings, up to and including orgasm. The blaster beam was an orgasmatron. Science fiction is awesome!